Mindset Defines Attitude
Ever since I started teaching “English Conversation Clubs” I have met a lot of new people of differenet ages, social status and with different standings in life. However the main trait that sets all of those people apart the most is their attitude towards life and their surroundings. Some are happy and aspire to share that happiness with the world, while others are sad and pretend to want happiness in their life while actually enjoying their sadness and victim mentality. I have met very unstable people, who can be happy one second and the next just explode with a bouquet of emotions. I have met people who are very insecure with their self image and try to hide it under kilograms of make up and high heels but when the night comes and they are all alone with no makeup and no pretty dress to hide their body the time of true despair comes for them. I have met people who have strong internalized principles in life and follow them. I have met people who are going through changes in their life and it is unclear who will emerge out of the metamorphosis. Despite their differences all of those peple are capable of being happy and productive, I strongly believe that all of those people can improve and become stronger. The only thing standing in the way of their happiness is their mindset. Those people have created elaborate scemes in their minds to avoid taking any responsibility and action. In this post I will outline three important principles to follow if you want to trully better your life.
The Three Important Rules
The First Rule to follow and probably the hardest one to adapt is believe in abundance. Human beings are so small and the world is so large that we tend to put our life into a small box in order to define it. We create even smaller boxes for our friends, our relationships, our job etc. And we are so afraid to lose something because we think that we will never be able to replace it. Even if that something causes pain we tend to keep it because we do not want the box to be empty. This behaviour is caused by mixture of different factors but the most important ones are low self-esteem and scarcity mentality. Some people just stay at the same boring job because they think that they can not do any better, others stay with the same partner because they think that they will not find anybody better. But once you realize your own self-worth you understand that there are 8 billion people in this world, there are millions of different jobs in this world, there is no person or position in your life that is not replacable. So always strive to be better than the day before and believe that there is abundance.
The Second Rule comes as the result of the first one, adapt attitude of not caring too much. I have discussed this in my classes with some of my students, our primary cause of unhappiness is our past. The chain of events that has happened in the past and lead up to our current position as the result is what makes us unhappy however it is the most unproductive action to dwell on the past and contemplate of what could be different. Instead focus on current situation in your life. And starting from this point on do everything in your power to do better. Stop caring about what other people say, what other people think, about how somebody might dislike your actions etc. Once you let go of external factors you will feel way more peaceful within yourself. The real reason you care for others is because you want to appear to them in a way that will fullfil your need for aproval. Believe it or not this will hold you back. You always wanted to do sky-diving but your parents tell you it is too dangerous, you always wanted to do martial arts but your friends made fun of you, you always wanted to learn horse-riding but your grandma said you can break your back etc. Whatever it might be, if you care about others’ opinions and about the past, it will hold you back on your way to brighter future.
The Third Rule is to be independent of whatever happens. I know a lot of guys who are afraid to approach girls that hey like because of the fear of rejection, I know a lot of people who don’t even start sports because they think that they will fail anyway. People only care about results disregarding all the knowledge and experience aquired in the process. One thing that you have to keep in mind is that no matter what you do in your life, everything is an experience and everything teaches you something new. So instead of focusing on only the result focus on the process. When I go into fight I do not care if I beat the guy or lose miserably, I know that I will learn something from the fight so even if I lose I do not feel embarassed unlike my teammates. The indepence of outcome is what sets me apart and skyrockets my progress because I am always willing to try something new without regard for end result.
The Liberated Man 